I’m there again. That bad, stressed out, avoidance stage.
How I want nothing more than to have good things transpiring and rainbows and positivity coming out my ass, but alas, I do not (and seriously, that would be so NOT me.)
I’m also dieting and haven’t had a carb in 11 days, yet haven’t lost a pound, which is SUPER encouraging. Coping with crap was a hell of a lot easier when I could drown my sorrows in chocolate and pastries. Which actually, is starting to make my weight issues make a bit more sense now, come to think of it.
I’m busy second guessing and doubting everything I have a hand in.
I have a 17 year old that hates me (that’s a give in) but he also seems to be getting off track as of late. I have just taken away his car privileges in an effort of consequences (still trying to decide which one of us this is punishing more as I’m back to being a chauffeur for one more kid.) It’s scary hard finding that place of being there, but not being there too much. I’m fairly certain I’m failing him.
I have a baby that won’t ween. I may go postal the next time someone asks, in that condescending, wow that’s gross, he can walk and say a couple words so he’s too old tone, “are you still breastfeeding?” Yes, I am. It’s infrequent, usually at night or when he’s otherwise inconsolable since he doesn’t take a binky or suck his thumb. It’s a shame that I feel this need to justify it, but just as women that feed their babies formula and feel the need to back up their decision, that’s how I feel now with the judgement surrounding me.
Being a mom is fucking hard and I’m so sick of feeling like I’m doing the wrong thing. Apparently, there’s just no way to win, especially when there’s no chocolate.
I have a husband that has a stressful job and no stress management skills, AT ALL. I end up trying my best to fix things, make him feel better, coddle, tough love; I come from every angle and usually just end up taking the burden of his worries on, as well.
Essentially, I am trying to be everything to everyone, constantly feeling the need to be more, to do more and do it better. In the process, I’m wearing thin (unfortunately, not literally.)
Co-dependency, party of 1. I get it, thankyouverymuch. I don’t need lectures or even advice of how I shouldn’t be doing what I’m doing or taking it all on or being so hard on myself. I know it more than anyone. It’s pretty much sucking the life out of me and it’s just a pattern I get into. Hoping it passes. Or I will fall off of the wagon and the chocolate will win.
I hear you, sister…unfortunately, I’m in the same boat. Not sure why I do it either but I can’t seem to help myself. I actually called in sick to both work and volunteering today or there was no way to have the house ready for the appraiser – and felt like a major loser because I couldn’t get everything done. Sometimes you just have to say screw it and hope tomorrow looks better…
i say, chocolate for everyone! sometimes i want to punch those effing WW ladies in the face when they say nothing tastes as good as looking good feels. uhm, yeah, i’m pretty sure you are wrong there, now give me that donut! so i guess i’m not winning any motivational awards anytime in the near future but i sure do hope you are feeling better soon!
Chocolate in moderation is a good thing! Mothers are made to feel inadequate no matter what they do. take one day at a time, or even one bite at a time.
Girrrrlllll..we are definitely cut from the same cloth! Sharing a birthday is not all we have in common…chin up…you’ll get through this. Sending you good mental vibes and imagined chocolate buttercream frosting shots!! ((HUGS))
I’m with you, 100%. I’m off to drown my stress in some good barbecue…and tonight there will likely be wine,((hugs))
I’m exactly like you so I’m sending lots of love and healing that this too shall pass and quickly! I hope it doesn’t return for a good long while.
YOu are an amazing woman, wife and mother….lots of comforting hugs to you!!!!!
I wanted to tell you how you don’t need to justify yourself, that you don’t need to take on all the burden, that you are doing everything right and some things we just can’t control…yadda yadda yadda. But since you posted the disclaimer at the bottom that all these things are not needed or wanted…I will just say this…I think anyone who judges other mothers should be punched in the vagina and if you post pics of the bitches who make you feel you are not doing things right, I would be happy to do the punching for ya!!!! I sincerely hope you feel better soon and know that I am rooting for you!!!!!!