My apologies. I’m not crazy busy, as many would assume. I spend most of my days sitting around watching TV- on the verge of that day’s breakdown. My recent inability to cope is not something I’m proud of.
It’s tough. Life’s struggles are getting me down. I worry every second of every day about what’s on the horizon. I take it day by day and consider waking up in the next morning a success. That’s pretty much all the positivity that I can muster.
There are still a lot of tears and a constant lump in my throat (not to be confused by the acid reflux that I’m certain is a sign that I’m morphing into a fire breathing dragon.)
The value of medication and its benefits are glaring at this point. They are missed greatly.
I avoid things and people as best I can.
I pray.
I hope for things to get better- for me- for our life.
I feel lucky to have distractions. The pregnancy, planning my reunion, my kids- they all help the hours go by till I wake up with another, hopefully, better day ahead.
Hang in there, Tena! One thing that can cheer you up……school is right around the corner and yo will have a quieter and cleaner house!
Oh Dear, Sweet Tena. You have friends out here – people who care about you and what is happening to you – with you – and around you. HUGS. BIG HUGS.
I don’t even know what to say. I’m thinking about you.
Tena, I don’t know you and you don’t know me, but I could have written this post. I feel the very same way.
Take care and I hope the best for you and I hope it starts soon!
I really could have written this post as well. Since we have moved i have been off medicine and I think more and more day by day that I need to find a doctor and get meds to control these horrible feelings. I definitely think this post was put here for me to read and I truly thank you.
Oh Tena, I’m just so darn sorry to read this. I wish you all the very best as you deal with the many lemons life throws at you.
My husband just left 3 days ago for a year in Iraq. I’m alone as can be. I can relate to crappy days.
As I’ve started to say to myself… sometimes it’s just better to attempt to make orange juice out of the lemons, and let people wonder just how in the hell you did it.
Thinking of you…
Right there with ya sista! So here I spend 8 months away from teh hubby waiting for our house to be built. I move out here to sucky Tex-ass and within the next 6 months my husband loses his Grandmother, Father and job. His job and Dad within 4 days of each other. Goes jobless for almost 3 months. We miss a house payment on both our houses. Had to borrow money from my sister….and all the while I’m ready to throat punch the next fucker that says to me “it’ll work out” or “everything happens for a reason”. But finally some thing shave started to get better. All we can do is try right?