I had a bad day

I have tried to put on a good face.  I try to carry the weight of things and not let them get to me- too bad.  It’s usually superficial little crap, but sometimes those little things add up and create big things.   Take this weekend…

Saturday morning, I naively walked outside to check how wet the grass was to see if we would have my daughter’s ballgame.

Imagine my surprise when my gutters and fascia are lying in my yard- storm damage from a storm that I didn’t know we had.   The house was still standing, it was only a small portion that had fallen and it was not damaged so could probably just be put back up.  <See how I tried to stay positive, there? It’s all bullshit- I was freaking out.>

My husband had just gotten off work a couple hours earlier, so I tried to remain strong and deal with the issue myself by calling my insurance agent (who wasn’t in the office, OF COURSE) to see if it was worth a claim.

I walked around to the backyard to look for any more damage.  My favorite part of my yard- my wrought iron arbor with lovely wisteria flowing all over it- was on the ground- with the roots of the wisteria plant broken.  Deep breaths.

Nothing I could do about it right now- so just relax- that’s what I kept telling myself, but myself wasn’t listening.

That afternoon, I noticed that my once beautifully green, manicured lawn was turning BROWN.  I am a lawn Nazi.  I spend lots of time working on my lawn and in my garden- making it look perfect so I can enjoy it.  Until recently, I did all the treatments and fertilizing myself (control freak), but considering I was brewing a baby, I thought it best to hire someone to deal with the chemicals and poisons for a while.  BAD IDEA, apparently.   Clearly they killed my grass, BUT they were closed on the weekend- OF COURSE THEY WERE!

I had birthday parties and ballgames all day to keep my mind off of my house falling apart- it didn’t work- it’s all I thought about all day.

After a full day of worrying, I came home and picked up my mail.   There was a bill for some blood work I had done last month- not covered by insurance for some reason- to the tune of $394.

That was it.  I lost it.  I couldn’t take anymore bad news for one day.  I had myself a good cry.  I don’t know if it was the hormones or the fact that all these places were closed on the weekend and I couldn’t get any answers or the fact that every time something else happened all I saw were dollar signs, but whatever it was, the crying  was necessary.

And the next day wasn’t nearly as bad.