My mom’s weapon against me and my bad attitude and smart ass ways growing up was “you’re grounded”. I think it’s safe to say that I was grounded for 85% of my twelfth through fifteenth year.
At first, it carried some weight. I would be shattered that I couldn’t go out with friends- for about the first 15 times. But after that, you just get numb to it. I began watching more TV and talking on the phone more. Essentially, my laziness is a result of my groundings- it’s practically scientific.
The thing is, I remember being an over the top DRAMA queen, and verbose, and smart ass, and rolling my eyes, but as much as I wanted to, I could not control it. No matter how hard I tried, my emotions would always get the best of me. I like to think I’m passionate. My mom would argue that I was just a brat.
Unfortunately, I’m learning that the divalicious, chemically unbalanced apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. My daughter will be 11 on Friday. She’s been grounded since November- I shit you not. She’s definitely ahead of my curve.
She’s been begging for a sleepover with some friends and a stay of execution from her grounding. Yet, her behavior has not improved. I’m hesitant, but then I’m reminded by my damn conscience of my emotions at that age and my temper tantrums.
Then she screams,” you are the worst mother in the world!” And “this is all I want and then you can ground me for a year.” Followed by, “I hate you and you’re always on the computer.” And the ever popular standby, ”you don’t love me.”
So why have I given in? Because it’s on my terms. I am leading her to believe that the grounding sticks and there will be NO FRIENDS’ SLEEPOVER. But secretly, I have e-mailed all of their mothers and they will be here at 6 on Friday for a sleepover.
Then, starting at noon on Saturday, she’s grounded till 2011.
Oh man this was my childhood too! I’m already trying to figure out how to deal with it and I’m not even close to having kids yet. Why couldn’t we just keep our mouths shut? Even if you didn’t say anything bad per say it ended up being your tone or facial expression and you didn’t even mean to! I was grounded through a birthday and it wasn’t fun. Thankfully my mom too took pity on me and let me have the present of seeing my boyfriend the next day:P
Maybe you should sit your daughter down and talk to her about how you remember it being like that? I’m wondering if when you notice her being like this if you could take a timeout for both of you then come back and talk about it? Then the whole too proud to admit anything comes in though. *sigh* I’m just trying to figure out if anything works so I know whether I’m pre-destined to be screwed or not
Anyway, Good luck with that and I hope your daughter appreciates what you’re doing for her birthday!
I was grounded by entire childhood too. I was bad. But I was not allowed to use the phone, or watch TV or do anything except school. When they were really serious, they took away my books. I guess they figured out that as long as I had those, the other stuff was not too bad.
I HATED losing my books.
Does she have something like that you can do to her?
Then she screams,” you are the worst mother in the world!” And “this is all I want and then you can ground me for a year.” Followed by, “I hate you and you’re always on the computer.” And the ever popular standby, ”you don’t love me.”
I’m am so not looking forward to this stage of parenthood. I feel for you, but hang tough!
When I got grounded my mom took it all – TV, radio, phone, going out – I had no options except reading. It sucked.
Oh Tena, you are a tricky, tricky woman and I like it.
Beautiful!!! You are my hero! (I am totally stealing this idea when my 2 year old is your daughters age)
That totally sounds like my house! Son is ALWAYS grounded (except at his Dads) and throws those same phrases at me along with “I’ll just go to my dad’s then!” Good luck walking over the bridge to get there!
My mother is waiting with baited breath to find out if my daughter is as bad as I was. She says (bitterly) every now and then “you children made my life hell”. And there is so much serious resentment in it that I fear for what I might be dealt!