Hi, I’m wishy washy. I want a job, I don’t want a job.
The closer I get, the more I realize, I have this life down pat. I could do it in my pajamas. And I usually do.
My internal alarm wakes me every morning at just-early-enough-to-get-ready-without-having-adolescent-breakdowns O’clock.
We’re out of milk… here’s a donut oatmeal. Can’t find my gym shorts… look in the dryer. She put the last cupcake in her lunch… here, a candy bar from my secret stash. Sign this, write a check for that, tie a shoe, zip a coat and we’re out the door and arrive on time to 3 schools all before 8:30.
I’m a problem solver. It’s like breathing for me. I do it with ease, but sometimes, I’m afraid it’s all I know anymore.
In theory, I thought I wanted to be challenged in life and feel more active in society.
Then I get a chance to prove I am capable of more and I become hesitatant. I convinced her that I was the right person for the job, but I haven’t convinced myself that I want to be that person.
Sure, I would like things to be different, but I’m not sure this is what I want to change. I’m good at this, I know this, it’s comfortable.
I’m afraid of not being in charge of my schedule anymore. I am afraid of getting dinner started at 7pm after a long day of talking to adults and wearing shoes. Rushing through “how was your day” niceties. Shoving a day of catching up into an hour before bedtime. Makes me sad just thinking about it.
Details that were automatic are now haunting me… half days, sick days, choir, band, baseball, time to do the laundry or the grocery shopping.
I juggle so many things on a daily basis, but it’s a different juggling act than a working mom and I DON’T KNOW HOW THEY DO IT!
So, I guess I’m a spoiled brat and want a job on my terms. Is that too much to ask? I know the answer.
As a former stay-at-home mom, gone to part-time employee and now full-time, your fears are real. It IS hard to start the day with your kids right before they go to bed. I miss them, they miss me. But, I am thankful I have an opportunity to help my family financially.
It’s such a difficult, personal decision whether or not to work outside the home, but there ARE good things about work. (Aside from the wearing of the shoes…)
I know how you feel. I stayed @ home with my kids 12 years. Some of the time I wished I worked but a lot of the time I liked it. Once my kids were all in school I went “back” to work (like taking care of 3 kids etc is not work?) Anyway… substituting for me was AWESOME… if I wanted to work I did, if there was a field trip, or I needed to do laundry or go to the grocery store etc. I didn’t. Kind of the perfect situation.
Then two years in I was offered a full time contract position. (woo hoo)
A large part of me wishes (now 8 yrs. later) that I had continued to sub- life is far more stressful with a full time job and a family.
I do have a job on my terms and I get panicked every time I think about increasing my hours next year when all three kids are in school all day! I wonder when I will squeeze in my naps?
It’s a tough decision, that’s for sure!
I recently went from working full-time to unemployed. I had a job that paid the bills but didn’t do much more for me than that. The boss was a total douche and didn’t know that being a single parent meant that you have all responsibilities on your shoulders, whether you want them there or not. Needless to say, it made my decision to not work an easy one. Luckily I have been supported by a great guy that never complains when I come home with a new purse (that he paid for). But I needed to get back to work. I was becoming a nit-picky B*&%# and driving everyone here nuts! So I decided to enroll in a Medical Transcription course online. When I am done I am going to try my best to get a job where I can work at home and be here when my daughter gets off the bus and be here to take the dog out to pee 358 times a day… all from the comfort of my pjs.
What I was getting at was- maybe you should look into work from home.
Have a great afternoon. I hope you are still in your comfy pants.. I am.
I SO could have written this post. My 4 year old is enough boss I can handle! And with her, I can put her in her room in time out when I’ve had it!
Wow- I am glad to have read this. I too am a mom of four and while I don’t think I’m a very good problem solver I can totally relate. With four kids though I don’t know how I will ever go back to work. By the time the kids are in school their schedules are so varied and full of after school activities, I don’t think it can be done. Not to mention my skills will probably be too out of date. uggghh!!!
Even with teens, this could be me. I feel like something has to change…
WORD!!!
I agree. I am out the damn door by 7;30, dropping the kids at school then rushing thru traffic to work. Home by 5:30 after picking the kids up and then throw something together quick ( frozen pizza)and off to begin the “mommy” job with sports, activities… yada yada… ugh!
Just keep moving forward…no matter the direction move forward…I’ve fallen back before and its harder then heck to catch up when you do.
I think a lot of us at home moms feel that way. I want to go back to work, but it has to really worth it. It needs to be more of a career move than a J O B. Having to pay for childcare again so I can feel more fulfilled and challenged doesn’t add up sometimes.
But, as more people are getting jobs with a social media aspect, I think we’ll be able to have the best of both worlds soon enough.
You certainly can want a job on your terms. it just might be hard to find it. As a working single mom, I find the time to get it all done. Of course, I have been known to be up at 1 am getting it done. Good Luck.
If you have to work full time for financial reasons i can understand the stress, but if you want to get a feel for normalcy why not try a little bit first before jumping in! Try a part time job, or a job 3 days a week. That way you can adjust, then go full time. I think if you can avoid full time right away you should. I think you will find that juggling kids schedules, and relying on other people to pick up the kids or taking them to games or whatever may not be worth it.
Being a working mom suuuuuucks sometimes.
But, I do love my job AND I love my paycheck.
You can work on your terms as a freelancer or part time from home. I’m doing it now… its not SUPER easy to balance— Im still finding my way.. but it does have its perks.
I can still be home with my kids and give them my attention when they need me most, looking into getting a sitter one day or 2 1/2 days to help jugle it– but still- no commute.. and hours on your terms.
Think about it
I want a job on my terms also. Where do we apply?