I’m blaming it all on the fuzzy flip flop slippers.
They’re so cute. And in theory, a great way to show off my newly pedicured toes.
Except when you’re making your way down the dark stairway at 10:30 at night. The mixture of the fuzz and the frieze carpet created a sort of Luge effect. I was down. I suppose I screamed or maybe it was my ass thumping down each step- thud, thud, thud, but the whole family woke and stared from the balcony. They wanted to laugh. So I cried. That shut them up.
My left thumb and right heel caught my fall. I thought the only thing that was bruised was my ego.
Two days later, my throbbing purple thumb kept staring at me. FINE! I went to the ER to get an X-Ray. Protocol… How did it happen? Allergic to any medicines? Any major surgeries? Date of last monthly period? Fell down the steps, no, no , and I have no idea. I was told my eggs were drying up and that I was entering a wonderfully sweaty stage of peri-menopause. I didn’t pay attention anymore.
Well, because of radiation, liability, yada, yada, yada… pee in this cup.
The doctor returned and her next question was asked with a sense of pity and a tilted head, “Are you late?”
I knew what that meant. Holy crap. I knew what that meant.
“Dude, seriously?” Yes, that was my exact response. I should have more kids, right? If nothing else, to teach them appropriate surfer reaction to life altering news.
Immediately, I felt no more pain in my broken thumb. It was numb, like the rest of me! I called my husband- I would not carry this shock alone! If I had to suffer, so would he, damn it! After a few “woah’s!”, I got a, “well, that’s great!”
That’s what I needed to get me out the door without the embarassment of tears streaming down my face.
*GASP*
I think that’s surprising and great
Dude. SERIOUSLY?
Whoa.
Oooh my! Are you sure?! I’ve got four and am freaking out for you. Maybe this is why you haven’t been blogging quite as much – something deep within you knew? Is your oldest old enough to babysit? : )
Congrats! A new baby is a blessing.
WOAH!!!!!!!!!!!!
Shut The Front Door!! Congratulations!!
Dude! Seriously? Good luck and congratulations!
Holy cow! Yeah, that WOULD fix a broken thumb. Congrats!
HOLY SHIT! WOW…I would be numb too!
I don’t know what else to say…..I think I need to have a drink on your behalf. Congrats….I am sure it will take awhile to sink in.
I had to read this a couple of times… I think I’ll go read it again…
Really?!?
Wow. Congratulations!
Thumb? What thumb?
Holy fucking shit! Really? Ooh I hate you and your damn perfectly fertile body!!!! *shakes fist*
OK I’ve calmed down. But seriously, really? Don’t leave us fucking hanging and reading into things. Yes or no, fertile myrtle!!
I think i can say with the greatest of confidence – it’s not mine.
Oh.my.
Congratulations!
Congratulations! and way to get the embarrassing fall out of the way. It would really suck in a few months when you cant see your feet
WOW, WOW, WOW… and did I already say, woo hoo?? Congrats to you!! I hear that once you’ve learned to juggle 3 that what’s a few more anyway…
So excited for you – can’t wait to share this journey with you.
This doesn’t mean you’re scrapping BlogHer, right?
Wow! Life is so full of surprises! Very happy for you, congratulations!
Congrats!! Very happy for you… !!
holy wow.
Wow, nothing like a second to get you over the first one! If it were me, I’d be a little freaked right now, but time will adjust the attitude- and congratulations will be in order!
OMG….Congrads..I am… WOW… holy…. Shit…
whoa…I think my entire body would go numb…
We had a “scare” when #3 turned a year old- at first I thought I was gonna freak out, but with time got used to the idea- then was upset when it turned out to be a false alarm…
Just take a breath…you can do this…
Congrats!
Holy crap!!! Tena, what wonderful news! I KNEW THAT THERE WAS A REASON YOU WERE NOT READY FOR THAT JOB! You must have known that too!!! You are so damn good at being a mom and whether this is a welcome surprise or a “holy hell, this can’t be happening right now” surprise, it happened for a reason! Keep us updated! My prayers go out to you and your family as you prepare for what is ahead! Congrats!!
Oh my! Congrats… and in all seriousness… how is your thumb?! LOL
HUGS
wow! I second, third and fourth all the comments above!
)
Yaaaaay! Congratulations!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!
Ok, it’s a girl and I am already naming her….
Well, that’s one way to find out a guess – that’s quite a surprise! Congratulations!
WOW! I am here via Brittany @barefootfoodie. I can not even imagine…the craziness. YIKES! Good luck. Congratulations!!!!
Holy thumb breakage, Batman … congrats!!! I had to read this three times to make sure you weren’t re-telling a story from your past! Hope you’re feeling well – and … CONGRATS!
Congratulations.
Wait a minute…falling down the stairs gets you pregnant? Damn. We’re moving to a ranch.
Dude! Congrats!
Ditto…. congrats!
Okay I am for one squeeing over her, but feel free to come and smack me because I know I would be totally freaking if it were me.
xo
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
Wow, what a way to find out! Congratulations!
Congratulations!!!!
Hey there! I have taken sort of a blog hiatus meaning I haven’t posted since Halloween but have been keeping up w/ all my favorite bloggers even though I haven’t been commenting and you know you’ve always been on my list…but HOLY SHIT I didn’t see that one coming! WOW! Are you freaking out? Are you okay? If it makes you feel better, I was 36 when I had Little One…she’s 2 now and I just turned 38 so there…I got you beat. But you have more than me soooooo……you win!! By “I haven’t told my family yet” do you mean your kids or your parents? See, there was a really good reason for you to turn down that job afterall…told you I was paying attention!
MANY Congrats – I wish I could get pregnant that way!!