My son started high school this year. It’s his first year at a public school. He has played football and is now wrestling. His grades are decent and he claims he doesn’t have a girlfriend. He texts a lot. He killed my soul a little when he asked me to buy him shaving cream and razors this week, so I guess he shaves, too.
This is the extent I know about his life. Shared information is limited.
I’m pretty sure I’ve become “that mom”… the overbearing, pain in the ass, that asks too many questions and notices that he has man hair on his arm pits- and talks about it.
Since he’s at a new school, I don’t know one of the kids he’s friends with. I like to blame the new school thing and avoid the possibility that he doesn’t bring anyone around me because he’s embarrassed of me. For his birthday, I begged him to invite friends over, but he refused and insisted on only family. I sang Karaoke, royally sucked at Guitar Hero while wearing jammie pants and drinking grape Vodka… what teen boy wouldn’t want to expose his friends to my kind of coolness?
I have aerosol cans in my house and I know about huffing. I have a good idea why his showers take so long. And he changes his own sheets on occasion- without me asking- IF you know what I mean. I know what kids are like. I am desperate to meet his friends, smell their breath and check their pupils for dilation.
Sunday is Superbowl. I’m Captain Obviousandrandom. Hold on… I have a point.
Normally, I couldn’t give a crap about the Superbowl. This infamous Sunday in February, I am a cliche woman- in the kitchen, stirring the chili during the game, bothering the shit out of the guys after they scream at a play, “what happened?” and running to the TV during commercials. Sue me.
This year, I will have ten 15 year old boys in my house watching the Superbowl. My husband will be at work. I have an ample supply of xanax and wine on hand and plan to be on my best behavior (read: put on jeans and not talk about boobs.)
I wonder if anyone has ever died from testosterone and if they’ll let me Karaoke during half-time?
I could have written this.
My son is 14, takes WAY too many showers, first year of high school and has suddenly stopped bringing his friends over. He washes his sheets more than I wash my own, which grosses me out and he now shaves. He is having friends over for super bowl too. I swear, it’s like you have been spying on my life.
Perhaps we can twitter thorugh the super bowl and contain our boob talk that way.
I think you’d be a fun mom. Maybe because he’s a boy. I’ll bet your daughters will bring lots of friends over when they are his age. Mom’s aren’t THAT embarrassing to girls.
My son thinks I’m fucking sunshine right now so I’m eating that shit up. I wonder what age he’ll start being embarrassed of me. He’s only 6 now so I’ve got time. I hope.
Holy crap. I have two boys. I am not ready for this!
I SO want to be you when I grow up! And my son is 15!
Good luck!
Sh*t… is about all I got. With teenagers over here 18, 15, and 13 all girls I have more ups and downs then I care to count.. I’ve told them on more then one occasion… “you guys are all toilet trained and semi-literate, essentially, my job here is done” (yep the best line I ever heard, thanks). BUT its not working out like that…They, need more supervision now then they did as toddlers…they are just getting started and I am tired…whew!
Welcome to my world… my youngest (and only son) is 16 and let me tell you boys are a whole new ball- see my one post about how I am on a need to know basis… game…http://adayinthelifeinthemomlane.blogspot.com/2009/11/im-on-need-to-know-basis.html
Take solace in the fact that you are (from what I can tell from reading your blog) a cool mom… the fact that you are letting him have a super bowl party is a testament to your coolness
Oh.My.God….you mean mine will be 15 one day? I did not sign up for that.
GOD BLESS YA HONEY!!!!!
oh now this should be good. i am in the same boat and have had to resort to spying. just a little. and not when he is in the shower.
I knew all my daughter’s HS pals because she played soccer and I was THAT mom. But, with my son, there are only a few I could pick out of a line up. I like your Superbowl idea though. Good luck with that and have fun.
Don’t worry about being overbearing! My son gets so annoyed with me when I ask him, “honey, is your penis growing ok?” Hey…if you can’t mess with them, why become a mom?? It is my job to keep him rolling his eyes!
as long as you’re not in there notepad in hand – taking notes down about his friends so that you can have a handy reference for later!
As you know, I teach 15 year olds.
Give them lots of good food- load up on junk and soda!
Don’t sing and only make a rare appearance.
Instant coolness.
Take names. Take photos. You never know when they might come in handy.