Dear Facebook,
Don’t change anything. Fuck all those dorks that can’t keep up with your format changes. They are probably the same idiots that fill up my homepage with their Farmland, Mafia, and Bejewell bullshit. That’s not what Facebook is about! I’m here to applaud you on what you are doing right. For the good of society.
I know it’s for a bigger purpose… to simplify stalking. And I, for one, thank you and your voyeur lovin’ technology.
How else would I know that the head cheerleader has become fatter than me? And that my gaydar in high school was RIGHT ON.
Or that someone I used to do very illegal things with- the least of which was smoking pot- is a born again Christian, Bible beater that uses Facebook as a lure to bring people into “Jesus’ arms” while quoting Christian Rock group lyrics.
Sure, I shiver at the thought of having been friends at one time with people now that go to Monster Truck rallies and watch Nascar, but if it weren’t for you, I may have made the grave error in judgement and renewed those friendships- that could have been ugly!
Granted, I don’t want to become a fan of an old classmates Plumbing Company even though I ignore the request once a week (it may be because he has a porn mustache and in my opinion- porn mustache and plumber’s crack is just too much to wrap my mind around), but I can deal with little hiccups like that.
So Facebook, keep on keeping on. And a lot of my Catholic friends are “giving you up” for Lent… don’t worry, they’ll be back.
Amen! Seriously I’m thinking of de-friending any one who writes a post or joins a group to complain about the FB changes.
It drives me crazy how much complaining people do. Why is it that people cannot handle any change at all in their lives? On a related note I finally figured out how to hide all of those stupid game updates. I was starting to think about leaving Facebook behind because all those game updates were driving me crazy, now I can keep on stalking. Yay!
OMG – I almost snorted reading this. Hilarious… and so right on!
….point on, as usual. Have a fan-tas-tic day. (ps I also don’t have facebook…geez-us I text, twitter and blog… I can’t take no more).
I hate that they changed the homepage but other than that I love fb! Oh! its a time stealer!
I love it too. I feel like such a voyeur because you can actually see everyone’s conversations! I have made sure to avoid every farm, fish, whatever ville everyone keeps sending me. Weirdos!
THANK YOU!!! I love this post.
I love Facebook too–it keeps people off my phone and I can ignore them when I want to. Its perfect!
*LMAO*
BUT Hey…… don’t knock my Farm ville!!!
Just “hide” it
LOL! What a great post! I cracked up when I read the part about the friend you did illegal things with now being a bible beater. Two of the meanest guys to me throughout high school are both pastors now…and are all biblical on their fb pages and have this stinky holy than thou attitude!
The only people I know who complained about the changes were the ones who now can’t find their thousands of games without a few clicks.
I don’t know who plays what anymore – because I hide ALL those game notifications! I don’t care if you have a lost sheep and want to share it.
The new facebook works fine for me!
I hide pretty much everything that comes through if possible. I do still play a game, but only one at a time. Like right now I’m playing MyTown, but in a month it might be CafeWorld and I certainly don’t let every single thing from the game post either. Worse than the games though are all the quizzes and pointless applications to find out silly things like the first letter of the guy who loves you, or the holiday ones. I hate the holiday ones. But, I still love my FB.
LOVE that the skinny bitches are fatter than me now!!!!!! I am overweight but at least I am smaller than them!!!!