Comments on: Defensive, much?

By: Nicki

Nicki — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 19:36:15 +0000

I haven’t read all of the comments so I apologize if I am reiterating what has already been said. First of all, I believe that there is only one being that has a right to judge and I am pretty sure He isn’t leaving comments on your blog or to your face. Secondly, I think people confuse “working outside the home for a paycheck” with “working” and anyone that asks a stay-at-home mom “why don’t you work?” has their head up their ass and doesn’t know what “work” really is. Third, you are absolutely right on so many levels…
…your son DID come into your life at the right time and under the right circumstances. I believe as you do that everything happens for a reason and it sounds like your boy saved your life on some level or another. I have two children and I was determined that I was NOT going to be a “June Cleaver” when my 16 year old was born. I loved her with all my heart and I wanted her since before I was old enough to make babies but I did NOT want to be a stay-at-home mom. I just didn’t have that in me. By the time she was 4, I began to realize how much I was missing and I quit my job to stay home with her and her little brother. I have gone back to work here and there but you are right. Working for minimum wage or even slightly more isn’t worth it legistically. Additionally, working for any amount of money isn’t worth it when your children are young and especially if you can find a way to make staying home work for you. Sure, money is tight but the kids will move out someday and we will have a lot of time to work after that. I don’t think people realize how incredibly wonderful it is to know that by staying home, you are contributing more to the family than if you went off to work, regardless of what the pay was. You have a job that requires more people skills, organization, medical training, and management than any profession out there and you can stand tall knowing that. And at the end of the day, you can tell yourself that you really and truly made a difference in a life and be absolutely correct.

By: Melanie @ Mel, A Dramatic Mommy

Melanie @ Mel, A Dramatic Mommy — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 06:12:45 +0000

I’ve been defensive about it too. The bills come in and I think I should go out and get a J O B, but then my son asks to go the skate park on a Wednesday afternoon and I can’t imagine missing out on that.

By: Jenn

Jenn — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 01:15:21 +0000

Listen… you are invaluable. I wish I could stay home and raise my children.It kills me that I have to leave them for work every day and my financial situation isnt any better than most people right now but I work because we choose for me to work. I admire and envy you and dont let anyone take away the decision you have made. To each his own… You are a GREAT mom!

By: The Mom Jen

The Mom Jen — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 19:52:12 +0000

Well put! Everyone asks if I’ll work (full-time) again when K goes to school…and I say, “my oldest will be in 8th grade on her way to H.S. are you JOKING?” I do dream of a paycheck and more adult conversation, but never at the sake of my children. Just my personal two cents.

By: complicatedmama

complicatedmama — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 14:27:39 +0000

You know why I love you and your blog so much (besides its obvious a”Fabul-ocity” ) …because evertime I read a post I find another thing we have in common. The whole first few paragraphs were my life.

I got pregnant when I did not expect to, before I was married, was young and still working but also felt “everything happens for a reason” and buckled down for parenting… I missed a lot of our sons milestones as well… and til this day am slightly jealous of the tight bond my son developed wth my MIL who watched him over that time.

Now I stay at home with both kids….and it bothers me to no end that I dont pull in any money to contribute…. I also miss the working towards a common goal at a work place– and adult interaction… but for now, this is what is most important for us. My being here for our kids… because by me going back to work, I probably wouldn’t be earning enough to justify paying a daycare etc.

And you know what?? regardless of the reasons (and everyone has their own that work for them)….. bottom line is….it’s really no ones business.

By: AmyLK

AmyLK — Sat, 16 Jan 2010 22:32:49 +0000

There are so many with the tug-a-war of stay home or work outside the home. I went back to work 3 weeks after Son was born and missed lots too.

Each family has to decide for themselves what is the best solution. I am happy that you are at home with your family! You go Girl!

By: Heidi

Heidi — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 14:11:15 +0000

I am the complete opposite. I am a workaholic whereas my friends are mothers – to two or three kids with a loving husband. I am constantly asked why I am not married, though I was once, it doesn’t matter. It is as though my status is reflected in my marriage, or lack thereof. Try not to take it personally, I don’t think we could ever make people happy. Just ourselves.

By: All Adither

All Adither — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 05:17:27 +0000

I love this post. I feel very privileged to stay home with my two. At the same time, I am hungry for work and validation. It’s all such a trade off.

By: Monica

Monica — Thu, 14 Jan 2010 23:25:03 +0000

I am also a SAHM. I worked from home (daycare), and worked full time outside the home. Now I am in college online, so I am here every minute of everyday. I like you miss the adult interaction, and it causes some major financial hardships. My heart breaks when the kids ask for something that I just can’t afford, I try to remember, that in 20 years they wont remember the toy but they will remember me being at home.

By: Mary Jo

Mary Jo — Thu, 14 Jan 2010 22:37:22 +0000

I understand how it feels to have people pass judgment when they don’t know the whole story. You are doing what needed to be done for your family. If people disagree? Oh well for them. There aren’t exactly millions of jobs out there waiting to be filled these days.