As a new young mom, almost 15 years ago, I was determined to not screw up my kid too bad.
How ambitious I was.
I wanted to do everything perfectly and offer him every opportunity in the world. I never wanted to disappoint him. I knew life was hard and wanted to be the one thing that he could count on in life.
When he was in first grade, one day as I was getting some retail therapy, 20 minutes away from where his school was, I received a call from a neighbor supermom asking if I remembered that school let out early that day (like 20 minutes before). I forgot my son. That was his introduction into this world of disappointment- courtesy of me- his mother! So much for my good intentions.
I don’t think he was scarred too badly because that supermom swooped in and took him out for a lunch at a super cool pizza place wit his friends so he may not have even notice the abandonment, but I did. The guilt sweats overcame me in that store immediately, I dropped the armful of clothes that I had planned to buy and ran to my car. And cried. I cried so hard.
This was my first monumental failure as a mom.
The first in a long line that we would both, eventually, become desensitized to. He now embraces my imperfection (read: rolls eyes and mumbles) and expects nothing less than me running late and forgetting important meetings.
So many years, 2 more botched childhoods, several forgotten friends’ birthday parties and doctor appointments later, the jig was up. My kids realized I was faulted… all except the 4 year old that I had yet to blemish my reputation with. The one with the twinkle in her eye that still thought I could do no wrong- bless her naive little heart.
It’s not that I tried any harder with her than the others. You see, she just hasn’t been involved in anything for me to screw up, yet… no school, no sports, no activities… until now. This weekend, to be exact.
I carted my son off to football practice, came home to get the girls geared up for their soccer games. Shuttled one daughter to her game for warm-ups, picked up my son from practice, and headed to the 4 year old’s 10:15 soccer game. Only to find that the game was at 9:00. As she excitedly gripped her full bottle of water and still had a pristeen soccer uniform on on a muddy rainy Saturday morning, I had to, for the first time, look into her eager little face, and fess up…
Mommy is a screw up. It’s better you know now when you’re young and not set your hopes too high. This is the first time, but it won’t be the last. It doesn’t mean I don’t love you, it just means that I’m human, I’m flawed. And now, let’s get ice cream.
You aren’t a screw up, you are human. It is okay. Don’t be so hard on yourself. She won’t remember anyway.
Oops didn’t mean to submit yet. The most important thing is that your kids know that you love them and that you are there for them. And those extracurricular schedules are so packed, who doesn’t forget a few things now and then?
~Susan
Once my mom was suppose to bring my dog into school for show and tell. I was so excited to show all my friends. Unfortunately my forgot and was having a nap instead. Although I still remember, now I laugh about it.
Welcome to the club! We all do it. I forgot when my eldest was 6 that the school had a half day. I got a call and when I arrived, she was sitting all alone in the middle of the assembly hall watching a video of “The Little Mermaid” oblivious… she thought it was the best… 15 years later and I still feel the guilt…. it goes with the territory! x
I think we are all screw ups when it comes to motherhood. Imagine how boring it would all be if we didnt forget stuff once in a while.
and thanks for adding my blog to your blogroll =D
Well, heck. that “Let’s get Ice Cream” part just covered over the WHOLE incident in her little mind. You are now her hero. As long as you don’t run out of Ice Cream – you’ve got it made.
We all have our moments. I can totally relate to you!
This year I was all excited because I actually get to pick the kids up from school rather than pick them up from after school care. So I was all geared up for it and the first time I go to pick him up thinking I am all early and have time to sit and wait. I look at my clock and it is 2:00 and he gets out at 2:30 I thought, until about 2:15 it dawned on me that he actually got out at 1:45. Oh Shit I thought where the hell is he….I called my girlfriend and she had luckily picked him up for me.
All mom’s forget stuff. Its no big deal. You’ll get her to the next game on time.
I think we all have a list of forgotten things!
Your story could easily be mine. Moms are human, warts and all.
I have completely missed doctor appointments and games and parties. Kids survive.
What she will remember is the trip to get ice cream with mom.
My bad, I hit submit too soon! And that’s more important than any soccer game!
Been there, done that. McDonald’s would have erased that boo boo at my house.
Ice cream TOTALLY fixes everything. I know I woulda gone for that over a soccer game any day when I was a kid. Just sayin’…
I have done this a million times it is nothing to feel bad about. You are human and are awesome for signing the kids up in the first place. I usually do the opposite show up way to early, then have to sit around waiting. By the time the activity begins the kids are tired and cranky. I dont know which is worse.
I am not laughing i am not laughing…okay i am soooo laughing!!!
If it makes you feel any better-I forget jess’s Bday…yes I know I SUCK
Been there….done that (multiple times)…. and my kids still love me…
Think of it this way… in 10 yrs she can bring the episode up (as mine have) and use it when THEY screw up.. “but mom…remember the time you forgot to pick me up & I had to sit in the office & wait 30 minutes for you?”
My kids have also learned to use this as a unique skill of extortion…making mom feel guilty for screwing up equates to new *fill in the blank*
This seems to always come up when we are @ the mall! *L*
I’ve had a couple of those already and my kid is 6. One down and a million more fuck ups to go. We all do it
Ice cream at 10:15?!
I think that made you the #1 mom.
Screw up completely forgotten.
Love the new digs Tena.
I only have 1 child and I feel overwhelmed and forgetful. I can’t imagine having 2, or 3 or 4 kids to keep track of and shuttle around.
[...] I could totally relate to this post of Tena’s on being a flawed parent. [...]